Men's Public Restrooms & STPs

 Men's Bathrooms – Pee Shy

Whipping it Out in the Men's Room [Re: STP and its use]

(Standing to) Pee Preferences

 

Q+A: Men's Restrooms, Pee Shyness, an Observation, etc

Riverside, California Area Transgender Resoures & Information

State of California and National Transgender Resource Guide

Inland Empire Transgender Info & Resources:

I II III IV

Jeffrey Owens Community Center: Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Inquiring, Intersexed, Queer, and Questioning

UCR's Trans Guide

UCR LGBT Resource Center

UCR LGBT Resource Center Calendar

I Am Jazz: A Family in Transition [trans youth]

Jazz, an 11-yr-old transgirl, has made many national television appearances on shows ranging from Oprah to 20/20 to Good Morning America and has quickly become one of the strongest voices of trans youth today.

She is an incredibly intelligent, poised, and confident girl and has wonderfully supportive parents and siblings. She wants to "pay it forward" with all the love and support she has received from her family by helping raise money for medical grants for trans youth through the foundation she helped start with her parents (her father is an attorney), TransKids: Purple Rainbow Foundation.

Jazz and her family were recently profiled in the OWN documentary I Am Jazz: A Family in Transition.

 

Jazz was recently honored at the Trevor Live Gala, where she gave a touching acceptance speech.  

She was also recently named in the Advocate's Forty Under 40, making her the youngest person ever to receive such an honor.

For more information and resources for trans youth, click here.

Dr. Brownstein is Retiring - Dr. Crane to Take Over Practice

Dr. Michael Brownstein, whose name is synonomous with “top surgery” for many, is retiring at the end of this year. Dr. Curtis Crane will be taking over his practice in the new year under the name “Brownstein & Crane Surgical Services.” In addition to male chest reconstruction, Dr. Crane will also offer metoidioplasty and multiple types of phalloplasty.

Dr. Brownstein pioneered FTM chest reconstruction and has been performing the procedure since the late 1970's in San Francisco.

Brownstein & Crane Surgical Services Facebook

46th Anniversary of Compton Cafeteria Riot March & Rally - San Francisco

46th Anniversaryof Compton Cafeteria Riot March & Rally

5:oopm - August 20, 2012 - San Francisco, California

Meet at City Hall at 5:00pm on the Polk St. side to march, 

or join us at 5:30pm at the corner ofTurk & Taylor.

via the Facebook Event Page:

Join in celebrating the legacy of LGBTQ homeless youth in San Francisco's Tenderloin district. 

March from City Hall to Gene Comptons' Cafeteria (former site) on the corner of Turk and Taylor, where we will have speakers (more to be revealed as we get closer to the event), refreshments and use sidewalk chalk to leave remembrances on the sidewalk.

The Compton's Cafeteria Riot was spurred by a group of transgender women and the Vangaurd youth (queer street hustlers). The contemporary group of LGBTQ homeless youth known as Otro Vanguard will participate in this event with some of the heroes of the movement including Felicia Flames who was featured in the Screaming Queens documentary.

Clergy are invited to wear collars or a sign of their faith.

Confirmed speakers include: Felicia Flames, Pastor Megan Rohrer, Supervisor Scott Wiener and Trans Law Center Executive Director Masen Davis.

While most GLBTQ historians cite the Stonewall riots in 1969 as the start of the gay liberation struggle, in 1995 a new slice of LGBTQ history was brought to light by transgender historian Susan Stryker while she was researching her now best-selling book, “Gay by the Bay.” Stryker discovered an article in the 1972 Gay Pride program about a riot that took place in San Francisco at Gene Compton's Cafeteria in August of 1966.

Tired of the constant harassment by the SFPD, the drag queens refused to leave the cafeteria and rioted against the police. This event marks the first time in history where LGBTQ people fought back against the police and took a stand for themselves.

Susan Stryker, a transgender historian, author, professor, and filmmaker co-directed the 2005 documentary "Screaming Queens: The Riot at Compton's Cafeteria" which profiles these courageous women.

You can watch the first 24 minutes of the film here:

There are also several clips from the film available on YouTube:

Part One

Part Two

Part Three

Transgender Books & Film

When I was first transitioning one of the things that helped me most with coming to terms with my identity and navigating the world as a transgender person was reading books and watching film (especially documentaries) with transgender subjects. I put this list together so those new to transition (or their curious friends and allies) have a reference point in terms of trans media that is available.

This list is by no means complete - there are scores of movies with "trans" characters (often as marginalized sex workers), so I tried to stick with books and film that positively represented trans and gender variant folk rather than trying to compile a complete list of every book or film that happens to have a trans character.

If you have any suggestions for a title to add to this list, leave it in the comments below or e-mail me at charliewarhol@gmail.com

Books: 

Leslie Feinberg
Transgender Warriors : Making History from Joan of Arc to Dennis Rodman 
Transgender Liberation: Beyond Pink or Blue 
Stone Butch Blues 

Kate Bornstein
Gender Outlaws: On Men, Women, and the Rest of Us 
Gender Outlaws: The Next Generation My Gender Workbook: How to Become a Real Man, a Real Woman, the Real You, or Something Else Entirely
A Queer and Pleasant Danger, a memoir

Jenny Finney Boylan
She's Not There: A Life in Two Genders 
I'm Looking Through You: Growing Up Haunted: a Memoir

Self-Made Men: Identity and Embodiment among Transsexual Men, Henry Rubin

Emergence, Mario Martino

Body Alchemy, Loren Cameron

Becoming a Visible Man, Jamison Green

Transfigurations, Jana Marcus, Jamison Green [foreward]

Second Son: Transitioning Toward My Destiny, Love, and Life, Ryan Sallans

Transition: The Story of How I Became a Man, Chaz Bono

Susan Stryker
Transgender History
Gay by the Bay
The Transgender Studies Reader 
GenderQueer: Voices From Beyond the Sexual Binary, Joan Nestle, Riki Wilchins, Clare Howell

The Testosterone Files: My Hormonal and Social Transition from Female-to-Male, Max Wolf Valerio

Nobody Passes: Rejecting the Rules of Gender and Conformity, Matt Bernstein Sycamore (editor)

Morty Diamond [editor]:
From the Inside Out: Radical Gender Transformation, FTM and Beyond 
Trans/Love: Radical Sex, Love & Relationships Beyond the Gender Binary

Whipping Girl: A Transsexual Woman on Sexism and the Scapegoating of Femininity, Julia Serano

Transmen and FTMs: Identities, Bodies, Genders, and Sexualities, Jason Cromwell

Just Add Hormones, Matt Kailey

Trumpet, Jackie Kay

Parrotfish, Ellen Wittlinger

Becoming Alec, Darwin Ward

Hung Jury

Film 

Documentary

Southern Comfort

Trained in the Ways of Men

Red without Blue

The Brandon Teena Story

Transgeneration

The Cockettes

Screaming Queens

Gendernauts

Enough Man

Sex Change Hospital

She's a Boy I Knew

No Dumb Questions

Prodigal Sons

Becoming Chaz

Middle Sexes: Redefining He and She

Fiction/Dramatizations 

Boys Don't Cry

Albert Nobbs

Soldier's Girl

The Crying Game

Trans America

By Hook or Crook

Ma vie en Rose

Hedwig & the Angry Inch

The Adventures of Sebastian Cole

Southern Comfort Conference 2012

Southern Comfort Conference is the largest transgender conference in the world and is held every September in Atlanta, Georgia. This years dates are the 18-23rd. While SCC has a largely transfeminine presence, since I first attended in 2006 they have been doing a lot to improve programming and other activities for transmasculine-identified individuals – the best of these being the Robert Eads Health Partnership (REHP).

Robert Eads was a transman who lived in rural Georgia and was a long-time attendee of SCC who died of ovarian cancer after suffering from extreme transphobia at the hands of healthcare professionals. The critically acclaimed 2001 documentary chronicles his story.

REHP allows transmen to get the needed (and dreaded) yearly pelvic exam in the company of other transmen in a trans-positive environment.  Getting the necessary exams in the company of other transmasculine-identified men can reduce the anxiety many transmen feel at even the thought of these procedures.

Transgender healthcare can be difficult to navigate anywhere, but this can often be a difficult space to even find in the Southeast, Midwest, rural areas, and other non-metropolitan areas; I live in a city in the south with a population of over one million and no physician here will treat me - I drive an hour and a half each way to a college town to see a physician for my transgender-related medical care. REHP is a great option for those who live in an area where they do not have access to basic healthcare or trans-friendly and knowledgeable physicians.

SCC is a bit pricey, especially with lodging, food, and travel expenses, but if you're in the Atlanta area, I'd definitely recommend going to the hotel where the conference is being held because you can always find a cool group of trans people to hang with - nothing beats the sense of community one feels when around 1,000 other trans people. Transitioning in the south, this was a rare occurrence for me, so I cherished all of the moments just socializing with other trans people - I think most conference attendees would agree that the best parts of the conference aren't the seminars or even anything scheduled at all, but in the late-night parties and 3am conversations.

This year FTM adult film star and producer Buck Angel is attending the conference and will be at the Transmen's Welcome Party on September 20th, so come on out and meet him!

Since the full conference registration is $375 on site (or $355 & $365 in August and September), a variety of registration packages are available at a lower cost. The full registration includes luncheon and dinner on both Friday and Saturday and all non-extra cost activities.

Friday & Saturday only is $330 on site or $310 if you register this month, or $320 if you register in September before you arrive.

Saturday only registration is $260 on site or $240 if you register this month, or $250 if you register in September prior to your arrival and includes luncheon, dinner, and all non-extra cost activities.

The most affordable rate is the "conference only" registration (and is what I purchased every year I attended), and includes all seminars and non-extra cost activities. The cost is $125, regardless of when you register. Meals are not included.

SCC believes that money should not be a barrier to attendance and offers scholarships to first time attendees (and their partners or a friend!).

Southern Comfort quick links:

Facebook 

YouTube

Yahoo Group

Transmasculine Program

Top Ten Transgender Friendly Colleges

Campus Pride has published this list of top ten colleges in the United States on their Campus Climate Index that are particularly trans friendly and have pro-trans policies and programs.

The Top Ten:

Ithaca College – Ithaca, New York
New York University – New York, New York
Princeton University – Princeton, New Jersey
University of California, Los Angeles – Los Angeles, California
University of California, Riverside – Riverside, California
University of Massachusetts, Amherst – Amherst, Massachusetts
University of Michigan – Ann Arbor, Michigan
University of Oregon – Eugene, Oregon
University of Pennsylvania – Philadephia, Pennsylvania
University of Vermont – Burlington, Vermont

While I am not at all surprised at the selection or the fact they all are located on the West Coast or in the Northeast, I am surprised that Portland State University and UC Santa Cruz and Berkeley did not make the list.

This list is a good starting point, but by no means a complete list of schools that are trans-friendly. Many schools across the country are making strides in the way of LGBTQ folk and are great places for trans* people to go to school, even if they didn't make the list. Even schools in the south (like my alma mater, University of North Florida) are making strides in terms of creating a safe space for trans* students to go to school and are always open to ideas as to what they can do to accommodate transgender students and make their college experience as pleasant as possible.

In locations like the South and Midwest where one doesn't find the same mind-set of the progressive Northeast and West Coast, institutions of higher education are taking to the transgender movement more quickly than their non-university counterparts.

Transposes FTM Graphic Novel Due Later this Year

Dylan “NDR” Edwards is a FTM artist, writer, and cartoonist who lives in Austin, Texas. He is currently working on a graphic novel entitled Transposes about seven transgender men due later (October-ish) this year.

via Northwest Press:

"Transposes is a nonfiction graphic novel by Dylan Edwards exploring the fascinating lives of seven transgender men who also happen to be gay, bisexual, or otherwise non-straight. It’s an amazing window into the lives of these men, both the major events in their lives and the day-to-day ones, and paints a wonderfully human portrait." 

You can preview Transposes here.

For more on Transposes, see the Transposes Index and connect on Facebook for the latest news from Dylan.

Dylans' other work includes TrannyTunes, The Outfield (about queers in sports) and Politically InQueerect, a satirical look at a gay Republican couple and their friends.

New Resource: Trans Advocacy Network (TAN)

Just a head's up on a new resource: Trans Advocacy Network (TAN)

via TAN:

The Trans Advocacy Network (TAN) is an alliance of transgender organizations that work at the state and local level, coming together to build a stronger trans movement by facilitating the sharing of resources, best practices, and organizing strategies.

Our member organizations are statewide, local, and campus-based trans organizations that work on advocacy, training, and education to help change the climate for trans people in their communities. Member organizations are also LGBT groups who are actively advocating on issues that directly relate to transgender equality through a trans-specific project, committee, or dedicated staff.

Our ally organizations are fundamental to our work as well, and are made up of national transgender and LGBT organizations, chapters of national organizations, international organizations, individual trans activists, trans support groups, and trans social groups.

The ultimate goal of the Trans Advocacy Network (TAN) is a strong, self-sufficient, efficient, effective and sustainable trans movement that works for social, economic and racial justice through leadership development, coalition building and sharing of resources and information.

We define Trans to include anyone whose gender identity or gender expression are different than the stereotypes associated with their sex at birth. We recognize that trans people come from various backgrounds, experiences, and identities.

Trans Advocacy Network is also on Facebook and Twitter!

Coming Out to Parents + Resources

A couple nights ago I posted a video to my YouTube channel in which I interview my mom about what it was like for her when I came out as trans. I thought perhaps it would be helpful to those who are struggling with how to come out to their parents, or for parents who are struggling with the multitude of feelings they are experiencing after their child has just come out to them.

My mom is quite uncomfortable in front of the camera, but she has a great message and I am really glad she agreed to film this video with me. We are a close family and my parents (especially my mom) had a rough time when I first started transitioning. Though it was extremely difficult in the beginning stages of my transition, in the six plus years I have been on testosterone they have come a long way.

My parents are amazing people and I am not only really proud of them, I am grateful for them as well.



Here is the link to PFLAG and the Parents of FTM Transsexuals Yahoo group that I mentioned in the video.

PFLAG is a great resource because it has local chapters scattered throughout the United States and parents can take comfort in the fact that they are not alone in this experience. PFLAG's transgender page has a lot of great information and resources too.

A question I am often asked is how I came out to my parents. There are many ways to come out - in person, over the phone, in an e-mail, or a letter. I came out to my parents in person, but I wrote letters to the rest of my family. The trans coming out conversation was hard enough to have with my parents, so for my large extended family I wrote letters; having that conversation over and over starts to get emotionally wearing.

A letter can often be a good method to use (even with parents) because it allows them time to think about what was said in the letter and unlike a face-to-face conversation or telephone call, there is no chance for the exchange of harsh words or for things to get out of hand - it allows time to process. After all, you have probably thought about the trans thing as long as you can remember, but they just heard about it and are probably entirely overwhelmed. Giving them space and allowing them time to process also means they might do some research for themselves and come into the "follow up" conversation more informed.

Here are a few other videos about coming out from 2009 and 2008, respectively.

Coming Out and Family (April 2008)

Don't Hesitate: Coming Out to Family (March 2009)


My parents and I took a long time to get where we are today - we did it with continuous, open communication, a fierce perseverance, and unconditional love. There are going to be a lot of rough moments, but there will be a lot of beautiful ones, too; it just takes time. Persevere.

Resources for Parents of Transgender Children: 

Trans Youth Family Allies (TYFA) TYFA is a wonderful organization and resource with a special section for parents of transgender children called “TransParent Journeys” with a list of parents' blogs and family stories.

TransActive is a non profit organization that serves the needs of transgender and gender nonconforming children and their families. TransKids Purple Rainbow is an organization founded by the father of a young transgender girl that is dedicated to empowering trans youth and their families and educates peers, governmental and religious institutions as well as school and medical communities on trans youth.

Parents of Transgender Kids Facebook 

For even more FTM and SOFFA mailing lists, check out the “Finding Community” page on Transguys.com.

If your parents are readers, a great book to send their way is “True Selves: Understanding Transsexualism: For Families, Friends, Coworkers, and Helping Professionals” by Mildred Brown and Chloe Rounsley. Though it was written back in 1996, it still remains a relevant resource and one of the better books written about transsexualism for SOFFAs.

You can also download “Our Trans Children” (5th edition) from the PFLAG website for free. [pdf file]


If you have any questions or you'd like to talk more directly, shoot me an e-mail at charliewarhol@gmail.com, or you can connect with me on Facebook. 

FTM Dating Sites

As the moderator of the FL Transguys Yahoo group, I get a lot of requests from gay or bi non trans males who want to join the list because they are interested in dating someone on the transmasculine spectrum.

While I am all for people being into dating transguys, the list is exclusively for medical, legal, familial, and other sensitive issues that arise surrounding transition, and therefore, is for transguys only. I did a simple google search for FTM dating sites to send the guys who had applied to the group the check out, and I thought I'd share that list here in case it may be of any use to someone.

FTM Lover

FTM Dating Site

More dating sites:

 
Trans Passions
Butch Femme Matchmaker
Yahoo Group: FTM Personals (by membership only)
Hudson's Guide FTM Dating Resources

If you want to skip the dating and go straight to the sex, a new FTM porn site was recently launched called FTM Fucker. Definitely NSFW, so don't say I didn't warn you!


Note: I am not a member of nor do I personally endorse any of the aforementioned sites.

Testosterone Voice Change Comparison

Earlier this week I showed a new friend my five year testosterone voice comparison, and she was absolutely blown away. I have to admit, it still even shocks me to hear the change sometimes. I forget my voice was ever that high and sounded like that. I estimate it has dropped roughly an octave or an octave and a half.

Here are some voice comparison videos from other guys.











To see how testosterone has affected my singing voice, check out this post.

Testosterone 101

I recently did a video answering basic questions about testosterone, such as how to get on it, who can prescribe it, where to get it, how much it costs, and if it is covered by insurance.

What is informed consent?

Here are links to the trans health clinics I mentioned in the video:

Callen-Lorde (NYC)

Lyon-Martin (San Francisco)

Tom Waddell (San Francisco)

Dimensions (Youth clinic, San Francisco)

Feminist Women's Health Center (Atlanta)

Fenway Health (Boston)

Howard Brown (Chicago)

Los Angeles Gay & Lesbian Center (LA)

Outside In (Portland, OR)

Old Town Clinic (Portland, OR)

Here are links to the pharmacies I talked about in the video:

Strohecker's Pharmacy (Portland, OR)
Apothecure Compounding Pharmacy (Dallas, Texas)

Kronos Pharmacy (Las Vegas, NV)

Women's International Pharmacy (Wisconsin, Arizona)

This next video goes into more detail about various testosterone delivery methods:

This video goes into more detail about testosterone cream - where to get it and how to use it.

Transguys & Adam's Apples

Recently Forest did a great video on Adam's Apples. They are one of many changes that happen on T, but one of the least talked about. Show your Adam's Apple pride!

How to Make an STP

Recently I did a couple videos on how to make an STP. You can make the basic medicine spoon/tubing combo for less than $5 and use it by itself or insert it into a packer if you so desire.

FTM: Coming Out to Parents II [family]

In my last post I shared a video from Jimmy, an awesome dad of an FTM son. In this video, he along with his son Peter offer advice for transpeople coming out to their parents.

In the following video, Kyp shares his experience with coming out to his family.

FTM: Coming Out to Parents [family]

Coming out to family - especially parents, can be one of the most difficult challenges one faces when they transition. In addition to the physical and social torment our bodies cause us, thoughts plague us for years about whether our families will understand or disown us, and ultimately, accept us.

Even though coming out to your parents can be a really difficult thing to do, keep in mind in the end they are your parents and love you and want the best for you. Not all parents will have the terrible reaction we all expect, though - Jimmy is one of those parents.

In the following video Jimmy interviews his FTM son Peter about what it is like being transgender. Jimmy is a remarkable man and the kind of dad anyone would be lucky to have. Most can only hope to have parents that are this understanding and educated about gender and identity.



In this next video, the tables are turned and Forest talks openly with his parents about being transgender. He speaks with them about his past, how he never really fit in, and how they feel about him being trans.



I came out to my parents in a series of letters and through many talks throughout the years. I have always been a fan of the written word and have found writing a good medium in which to express my thoughts; the other party has time to process the contents on their own time and how they feel comfortable without the tension of having to take it all in at once or fearing my reaction which could lead to a verbal altercation and misunderstanding.

If anyone is curious on what to say to your parents in a coming out letter, I have published two of the letters I wrote to my parents in the beginning of my transition in my Charlie Begins blog here and here.

Pee Shyness [men's bathrooms].

Paruresis /ˌpɑrəˈriːsɪs/ par-ə-ree-sis) is a type of phobia in which the sufferer is unable to urinate in the (real or imaginary) presence of others, such as in a public restroom. It most commonly affects males, though there are female sufferers too. [via Wikipedia]



I recently made this video about “pee shyness.” It is an actual medical condition (a social anxiety disorder) called *paruesis (also called urophobia) that affects a lot of men (women can suffer from this too), and transmen seem to suffer from their fair share of it too. I have done a few videos on men's bathrooms because they really seem to be a source of stress for a lot of transmen.

As the video below tries to show, just relax and take it easy! It is not as bad as you think. The less nervous you are, the smoother the experience will go. Guys are way different in the bathroom; they are not as “alert” as women and want to get in there, do their business, and get out of the restroom with making as little eye contact as possible.

Transwomen have the rougher side of the coin; they go from a “business” type approach to the bathroom to a very social and potentially scrutinizing situation. Women pay much more attention to other people in the restroom; men generally could care less. Men are usually comfortable peeing in front of anyone (though not always the case) and they could care less if a woman walked in - if they did, they could opt to use a stall. On the whole, men don't give a hoot and neither should you!



I did this particular video with a non trans male friend while living in San Francisco to get his opinion on the whole men's bathroom situation and peeing standing up. It is important to remember that these are merely his views and not representative of all non transmales, just as my videos and writings are my experiences and do not represent the transmale community as a whole.

We are all different and have different experiences in transition, and they are all valuable and genuine. It is important not to compare yourself to others and just live out your life and transition the way is right for you.



*There is an organization for those who suffer from paruesis called the International Paruesis Association and they are located in Baltimore, MD. They offer support to those who suffer from this condition and promise you are not alone - they estimate that 7% of the public, some 17 million people may suffer from paruesis.

From the IPA website:

Welcome to the official IPA (International Paruresis Association) website. This site is provided as a resource for people who find it difficult or impossible to urinate in the presence of others, either in their own home or in public facilities. Also, for people who have difficulty under the stress of time pressure, when being observed, when others are close by and might hear them, or when traveling on moving vehicles.

YOU ARE NOT ALONE. In fact, recent studies show that about seven percent (7%) of the public, or 17 million people, may suffer from this social anxiety disorder. Often referred to as Pee-Shy, Shy-Bladder, Bashful Bladder, etc., avoidant paruresis is nothing to be ashamed of, and you have made an important step simply by coming to this website.

Inside you will find helpful information on support groups, support seminars (workshops), and even drug therapy. There is also a useful and friendly discussion board where you can share your problems and success -- or just "listen in" -- with others who have the same problem as you.

SF & LA Transgender Film Festivals [film, events]

The 10th Anniversary of the San Francisco Transgender Film Festival is happening November 3-5, 2011.


Find them on Facebook here and Twitter here.



If you're down in SoCal, the Los Angeles Transgender Film Festival will be held November 4-6 , 2011.



Find them on Facebook here.