Jazz, an 11-yr-old transgirl, has made many national television appearances on shows ranging from Oprah to 20/20 to Good
Morning America and has quickly become one of the strongest voices of trans youth today.
She is an incredibly intelligent, poised, and confident girl and has wonderfully supportive parents and siblings. She wants to "pay it forward" with all the love and support she has received from her family by helping raise money for medical grants for trans youth through the foundation she helped start with her parents (her father is an attorney), TransKids: Purple Rainbow Foundation.
A couple nights ago I posted a video to my YouTube channel in which I interview my mom about what it was like for her when I came out as trans. I thought perhaps it would be helpful to those who are struggling with how to come out to their parents, or for parents who are struggling with the multitude of feelings they are experiencing after their child has just come out to them.
My mom is quite uncomfortable in front of the camera, but she has a great message and I am really glad she agreed to film this video with me. We are a close family and my parents (especially my mom) had a rough time when I first started transitioning. Though it was extremely difficult in the beginning stages of my transition, in the six plus years I have been on testosterone they have come a long way.
My parents are amazing people and I am not only really proud of them, I am grateful for them as well.
PFLAG is a great resource because it has local chapters scattered throughout the United States and parents can take comfort in the fact that they are not alone in this experience. PFLAG's transgender page has a lot of great information and resources too.
A question I am often asked is how I came out to my parents. There are many ways to come out - in person, over the phone, in an e-mail, or a letter. I came out to my parents in person, but I wrote letters to the rest of my family. The trans coming out conversation was hard enough to have with my parents, so for my large extended family I wrote letters; having that conversation over and over starts to get emotionally wearing.
A letter can often be a good method to use (even with parents) because it allows them time to think about what was said in the letter and unlike a face-to-face conversation or telephone call, there is no chance for the exchange of harsh words or for things to get out of hand - it allows time to process. After all, you have probably thought about the trans thing as long as you can remember, but they just heard about it and are probably entirely overwhelmed. Giving them space and allowing them time to process also means they might do some research for themselves and come into the "follow up" conversation more informed.
Here are a few other videos about coming out from 2009 and 2008, respectively.
Coming Out and Family (April 2008)
Don't Hesitate: Coming Out to Family (March 2009)
My parents and I took a long time to get where we are today - we did it with continuous, open communication, a fierce perseverance, and unconditional love. There are going to be a lot of rough moments, but there will be a lot of beautiful ones, too; it just takes time. Persevere.
Resources for Parents of Transgender Children:
Trans Youth Family Allies (TYFA)
TYFA is a wonderful organization and resource with a special section for parents of transgender children called “TransParent Journeys” with a list of parents' blogs and family stories.
TransActive is a non profit organization that serves the needs of transgender and gender nonconforming children and their families.
TransKids Purple Rainbow is an organization founded by the father of a young transgender girl that is dedicated to empowering trans youth and their families and educates peers, governmental and religious institutions as well as school and medical communities on trans youth.
short doc blending humor and formal interviews explores the under-reported problem of a lack of gender neutral restroom spaces. featuring lynn breedlove, bryan burgess and melissa lawton.
Written, Directed, Shot and Edited by Shani Heckman
Yesterday I posted this video to my YouTube channel which intends to be a quick overview of what to expect when you have chest surgery; it also hopes to answer questions and calm some nerves!
As with all my videos and blog posts, the opinions reflected herein are solely my own and I do not claim to speak for anyone but myself.
Here is a follow-up video I shot this afternoon with some tips for guys preparing for surgery.
This is a video log I shot the morning of my chest surgery in the hotel in Baltimore.
This is me seeing my chest for the first time on December 19, 2006, a week after my surgery.
Here is a video shot the same night I saw my chest for the first time and documents a simple, but significant milestone in any transman's transition - being able to wear a t-shirt for the first time with a flat chest.
Someone recently commented on my New Year's video complimenting my facial hair growth. I just noticed yesterday it was getting quite thick myself, so I thought I'd document it before I shave it all off!
Even being over five years on testosterone, I can only grow decent sideburns, and I don't get nearly as much hair on my cheeks as I do on my chin and neck. I can grow a decent chinstrap and an even better goatee and neck beard. I still have some patchy spots on my chin where I don't think it will ever fill in.
Facial hair doesn't always grow in evenly, and some guys don't get it at all. Here is a video I did on patchy facial hair growth followed by a video on dysphoria caused by lack of facial hair.
I tried to participate in "No Shave November" this past year, and document my troubles "holding out" in this video:
I'll leave you all with a classic shaving video - it's shaving time!.
In this video Charlie (aka localterror on the tube) recounts a story of going to a wedding recently and the awkward situations that entails. I'm sure we can all have a similar "awkward social experience" we can relate to.
Tristan Skye (aka TristanSkye79 on the tube) just had his top surgery with Dr. Charles Garramone in Sunrise, FL. He made an awesome video documenting his experience and his emotions leading up to surgery, and examines his wife's feelings as well (after all, everybody in our lives transition, not just us!).
Tristan ended up being less nervous about the surgery than his wife Sicily was, probably because she was so busy getting everything in order and making sure it all went smoothly for him. Hat's off to awesome SOFFA's everywhere! Thanks for all you do.
Tristan and Sicily also run an awesome transgender social networking site called TQNation. Definitely check it out and create a profile.
Here is a video log I recorded on the day of my top surgery, December 12, 2006. As you can see, emotions were high that day.
I can't believe it will be four years in December since I've had the surgery. My life has changed in so many ways, more than I ever expected. Surgery has given me the freedom from the body I was trapped in my entire life. Thank you, Dr. Fischer!
An intimate look at a slice of the new generation of queer identity: bois. Boi is a term used in the queer community to refer to a person's sexual and gender identity, and it may include: a person who looks and acts like a young, heterosexual male and partakes in casual sex, a transman, an FTM or female to male, a submissive butch, or a bisexual gay with effeminate traits.
Here is a video from openheartzoo that really struck a chord with me. In this video Bo speaks about the difficulties trans and intersex people face with everyday situations (most) cisgender take for granted- specifically in this case, using public restrooms.
Also, Bo makes a good point in the video that just because "you have a friend" that is a certain way or lives a particular lifestyle, that it does not make you an expert in that subject.
Here is a video from Karl, aka grimreaper636. The first is about his experience at London Pride last year and also gives some information about the Trans Youth Network, which Karl has found to be a helpful resource in coming out as queer youth.
every so often i will feature FTMs that are new on the youtube scene, but are definitely worth checking out. the first guy is tommy and hails from the UK.
Every so often I will feature another transguy on my blog. I believe every guy deserves a voice and there are so many guys with great videos and great things to say that need to be heard, and I want to give the other guys in the community the word.
That being said, the first guy I am featuring is Joshua, also known as transoutlaw on YouTube, and @transguys on Twitter. He maintains the super awesome Gender Outlaw Blog, and Transguys.com, the internet's premier magazine for transmen. Joshua is an awesome guy and someone I personally look up to, so without further ado...
i have received many messages about how to go about ordering STPs.
STPs are $45 made with the standard semi-soft tubing.
shipping is $7 anywhere in the US. i will ship to international guys, but shipping will be determined by specific location.
the total for a STP packer (medicine spoon and tubing included) is $52.
paypal payment is preferred through electricacidkoolaidtest@gmail.com, but other arrangements for payment can be made.
harness orders are not currently being taken at this time. i have my hands full with work and many projects (both which involve the trans community), and harnesses take far too long to make as i have no one helping me with orders at this time. i will post an instructional video soon on how to make your own harness so guys can start making their own.
also, you should note there is no set time for orders to be shipped. i do not make stps full time, just got into this because i helped a few people out then it grew far too fast and i wasn't able to keep up properly with all the orders. mango takes many months to deliver their products(i've been hearing reports of 6+ months to receive the package) if they deliver the package at all.
i have been sent various messages about guys who have personally ordered from mango in the last year and received nothing and have also read multiple accounts from men on the FTM-trans list that they are also having problems with their order. if you've had a problem with mango in the last year, leave a comment here.
packers come in TAN or PINK, and are 3.5'. special requests can be made for larger sizes.
feel free to e-mail me at charliewarhol@gmail.com for more information.
personal note to everyone who has ordered an STP/tubing/harness:
that being said, if you have ordered from me and have not received it, first of all, my deepest apologies. i intend to fulfill every order that has been made, no matter when it was placed. second, please contact me at charlesasheryt@gmail.com with your paypal/order info so we can work something out. even though i have saved every STP order, i literally have thousands of e-mails in my inbox and sometimes things slip past me. i want to work things out with everyone who placed an order at anytime.
i understand if you are upset at not receiving your order and i truly apologize, but please do not go through unnecessary means to "send me a message" (ie hate channels, hate commenting in general, etc), rather just send me a message and we'll get things worked out! once again, the e-mail is charlesasheryt@gmail.com.
