Recently Forest did a great video on Adam's Apples. They are one of many changes that happen on T, but one of the least talked about. Show your Adam's Apple pride!
Thursday, December 22, 2011
Tuesday, December 13, 2011
How to Make an STP
Recently I did a couple videos on how to make an STP. You can make the basic medicine spoon/tubing combo for less than $5 and use it by itself or insert it into a packer if you so desire.
Thursday, November 17, 2011
FTM: Coming Out to Parents II [family]
In my last post I shared a video from Jimmy, an awesome dad of an FTM son. In this video, he along with his son Peter offer advice for transpeople coming out to their parents.
In the following video, Kyp shares his experience with coming out to his family.
Tuesday, November 15, 2011
FTM: Coming Out to Parents [family]
Coming out to family - especially parents, can be one of the most difficult challenges one faces when they transition. In addition to the physical and social torment our bodies cause us, thoughts plague us for years about whether our families will understand or disown us, and ultimately, accept us.
Even though coming out to your parents can be a really difficult thing to do, keep in mind in the end they are your parents and love you and want the best for you. Not all parents will have the terrible reaction we all expect, though - Jimmy is one of those parents.
In the following video Jimmy interviews his FTM son Peter about what it is like being transgender. Jimmy is a remarkable man and the kind of dad anyone would be lucky to have. Most can only hope to have parents that are this understanding and educated about gender and identity.
In this next video, the tables are turned and Forest talks openly with his parents about being transgender. He speaks with them about his past, how he never really fit in, and how they feel about him being trans.
I came out to my parents in a series of letters and through many talks throughout the years. I have always been a fan of the written word and have found writing a good medium in which to express my thoughts; the other party has time to process the contents on their own time and how they feel comfortable without the tension of having to take it all in at once or fearing my reaction which could lead to a verbal altercation and misunderstanding.
If anyone is curious on what to say to your parents in a coming out letter, I have published two of the letters I wrote to my parents in the beginning of my transition in my Charlie Begins blog here and here.
Thursday, November 10, 2011
Pee Shyness [men's bathrooms].
Paruresis /ˌpɑrəˈriːsɪs/ par-ə-ree-sis) is a type of phobia in which the sufferer is unable to urinate in the (real or imaginary) presence of others, such as in a public restroom. It most commonly affects males, though there are female sufferers too. [via Wikipedia]
I recently made this video about “pee shyness.” It is an actual medical condition (a social anxiety disorder) called *paruesis (also called urophobia) that affects a lot of men (women can suffer from this too), and transmen seem to suffer from their fair share of it too. I have done a few videos on men's bathrooms because they really seem to be a source of stress for a lot of transmen.
As the video below tries to show, just relax and take it easy! It is not as bad as you think. The less nervous you are, the smoother the experience will go. Guys are way different in the bathroom; they are not as “alert” as women and want to get in there, do their business, and get out of the restroom with making as little eye contact as possible.
Transwomen have the rougher side of the coin; they go from a “business” type approach to the bathroom to a very social and potentially scrutinizing situation. Women pay much more attention to other people in the restroom; men generally could care less. Men are usually comfortable peeing in front of anyone (though not always the case) and they could care less if a woman walked in - if they did, they could opt to use a stall. On the whole, men don't give a hoot and neither should you!
I did this particular video with a non trans male friend while living in San Francisco to get his opinion on the whole men's bathroom situation and peeing standing up. It is important to remember that these are merely his views and not representative of all non transmales, just as my videos and writings are my experiences and do not represent the transmale community as a whole.
We are all different and have different experiences in transition, and they are all valuable and genuine. It is important not to compare yourself to others and just live out your life and transition the way is right for you.
*There is an organization for those who suffer from paruesis called the International Paruesis Association and they are located in Baltimore, MD. They offer support to those who suffer from this condition and promise you are not alone - they estimate that 7% of the public, some 17 million people may suffer from paruesis.
From the IPA website:
Welcome to the official IPA (International Paruresis Association) website. This site is provided as a resource for people who find it difficult or impossible to urinate in the presence of others, either in their own home or in public facilities. Also, for people who have difficulty under the stress of time pressure, when being observed, when others are close by and might hear them, or when traveling on moving vehicles.
YOU ARE NOT ALONE. In fact, recent studies show that about seven percent (7%) of the public, or 17 million people, may suffer from this social anxiety disorder. Often referred to as Pee-Shy, Shy-Bladder, Bashful Bladder, etc., avoidant paruresis is nothing to be ashamed of, and you have made an important step simply by coming to this website.
Inside you will find helpful information on support groups, support seminars (workshops), and even drug therapy. There is also a useful and friendly discussion board where you can share your problems and success -- or just "listen in" -- with others who have the same problem as you.
I recently made this video about “pee shyness.” It is an actual medical condition (a social anxiety disorder) called *paruesis (also called urophobia) that affects a lot of men (women can suffer from this too), and transmen seem to suffer from their fair share of it too. I have done a few videos on men's bathrooms because they really seem to be a source of stress for a lot of transmen.
As the video below tries to show, just relax and take it easy! It is not as bad as you think. The less nervous you are, the smoother the experience will go. Guys are way different in the bathroom; they are not as “alert” as women and want to get in there, do their business, and get out of the restroom with making as little eye contact as possible.
Transwomen have the rougher side of the coin; they go from a “business” type approach to the bathroom to a very social and potentially scrutinizing situation. Women pay much more attention to other people in the restroom; men generally could care less. Men are usually comfortable peeing in front of anyone (though not always the case) and they could care less if a woman walked in - if they did, they could opt to use a stall. On the whole, men don't give a hoot and neither should you!
I did this particular video with a non trans male friend while living in San Francisco to get his opinion on the whole men's bathroom situation and peeing standing up. It is important to remember that these are merely his views and not representative of all non transmales, just as my videos and writings are my experiences and do not represent the transmale community as a whole.
We are all different and have different experiences in transition, and they are all valuable and genuine. It is important not to compare yourself to others and just live out your life and transition the way is right for you.
*There is an organization for those who suffer from paruesis called the International Paruesis Association and they are located in Baltimore, MD. They offer support to those who suffer from this condition and promise you are not alone - they estimate that 7% of the public, some 17 million people may suffer from paruesis.
From the IPA website:
Welcome to the official IPA (International Paruresis Association) website. This site is provided as a resource for people who find it difficult or impossible to urinate in the presence of others, either in their own home or in public facilities. Also, for people who have difficulty under the stress of time pressure, when being observed, when others are close by and might hear them, or when traveling on moving vehicles.
YOU ARE NOT ALONE. In fact, recent studies show that about seven percent (7%) of the public, or 17 million people, may suffer from this social anxiety disorder. Often referred to as Pee-Shy, Shy-Bladder, Bashful Bladder, etc., avoidant paruresis is nothing to be ashamed of, and you have made an important step simply by coming to this website.
Inside you will find helpful information on support groups, support seminars (workshops), and even drug therapy. There is also a useful and friendly discussion board where you can share your problems and success -- or just "listen in" -- with others who have the same problem as you.
Wednesday, November 2, 2011
SF & LA Transgender Film Festivals [film, events]
The 10th Anniversary of the San Francisco Transgender Film Festival is happening November 3-5, 2011.
Find them on Facebook here and Twitter here.
If you're down in SoCal, the Los Angeles Transgender Film Festival will be held November 4-6 , 2011.
Find them on Facebook here.
Find them on Facebook here and Twitter here.
If you're down in SoCal, the Los Angeles Transgender Film Festival will be held November 4-6 , 2011.
Find them on Facebook here.
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
"Are You a Girl?" [video]
In this video I recount the experience I had with the administration at the university where I graduated. I had to have my transcripts sent to Portland State University so I had to stop by student services. I have been getting alumni mail addressed to “Ms. Asher,” which is frustrating – I never thought to do a gender change within the university, and I guess they didn't get the memo when the name changed from Christina to Charles.
After the guy was done processing my transcript request form, he asked me if there was anything else he could help me with. I told him about getting mail as “Ms.” and asked if they “accidentally” had me as female in their system. He looked, turned bright red, and told me they did.
Then he asks, “you're not a girl are you?”
I found this question fairly ridiculous considering he was asking a dude with a beard if he was a girl. I think the whole “Ms.” thing threw him off so much that he didn't really think about what he was asking – I don't think the trans thing even crossed his mind.
If he has asked if I was a transguy or if I had been born female/assigned female at birth, I wouldn't have said no – but I live and navigate the world as male and am not a girl. Simple as that. It's not my problem if he didn't connect the dots!
I have gained a lot more confidence in dealing with situations in which “the trans thing” comes up – whether it be administration at my old college, flying and TSA body scans, or running into someone from my past. I am always matter-of-fact about it and up front – there is no reason not to be, and a little education and awareness go a long way.
Monday, October 17, 2011
New Trans Anthology Inviting Poetry Submissions!
A message about a new anthology - please reply to
transanthology@gmail.com
OPEN CALL FOR AN ANTHOLOGY OF TRANS & GENDERQUEER POETRY
Dear Author,
We want your words.
What is the project: We are creating an anthology. An anthology of
the best poems out there by trans and genderqueer writers and we would
love to include your work in the book. Our assumption is that the
writing of trans and genderqueer folks has something more than
coincidence in common with the experimental, the radical, and the
innovative in poetry and poetics (as we idiosyncratically define these
categories), and with your help we’d like to manifest that something
(or somethings) in a genderqueer multipoetics, a critical mass of
trans fabulousness.
This anthology is edited by TC Tolbert and Tim Peterson (Trace)—both
trans-identified poets. It will be published by EOAGH Books in early
2012, and you can bet it will be widely distributed!
Deadline for Submissions: Nov 30, 2011
What to Submit: 7-10 pages of poetry, and a prose “poetics” statement
(see below)
Where to Submit: email us at transanthology@gmail.com
Why is this anthology important: While trans and genderqueer poets
have existed for hundreds, if not thousands, of years, there has never
been a collection of poetry exclusively by trans and genderqueer
writers that also highlights a diverse range of poetics and other
marginalized identities. Each particular understanding of self and
gender creates an essentially complex and rich multipoetics that
undermines any sort of universal trans aesthetic. Inherently multi-
vocal and anti-hegemonic, a singular trans experience simply does not
exist and, frankly, we don’t want it to. For this reason, an
anthology is the most conducive venue for undoing any attempted
whitewashing and/or homogenizing of an imagined trans voice. As we
said, we want your words. The words, syntax, perspective, lyric,
narrative, image (or the disruption of any of these) that could
actually only come from you.
What kind of writing are we looking for: This anthology seeks writing
that makes us wet our panties a little bit and wonder what the f* have
we been doing with our lives all this time. While this project exists
in a historical context of several important anthologies that gather
marginalized and under-represented writers (This Bridge Called My
Back, No More Masks, The Open Boat, The World in Us, etc), this will
be the first anthology to foreground the poetic writings of trans and
genderqueer authors. The book will feature 7-10 pages of work from
approximately 35 poets and we hope you will be one of them!
A meta-layer of fabulous: One thing that makes this anthology unique
is that it will include a statement on poetics by each participant,
along with your poems. This is a chance for you to tell us something
about your writing process, writing practice, theory of life, or
whatever you like. It might include the relationship of the body and
text, or the practice of reading and misreading text and the body, or
locations, connections, and divisions of the self amongst text and the
self amongst other bodies or...you get the point.
About the editors:
TC Tolbert is a genderqueer, feminist poet and teacher committed to
social justice. S/he is the Assistant Director of Casa Libre en la
Solana and an Adjunct Instructor at The University of Arizona and Pima
Community College. S/he is the creator of Made for Flight, a youth
empowerment project that utilizes creative writing and kite building
to commemorate murdered transgender people and to dismantle homophobia
and transphobia. TC’s chapbook, territories of folding, was recently
published by Kore Press. His poems can be found in Volt, The Pinch,
Drunken Boat, Shampoo, A Trunk of Delirium, jubilat, and EOAGH. His
work won the Arizona Statewide Poetry Competition in 2010 and was a
Sawtooth finalist in 2009 and 2010. His first full length collection,
Gephyromania, is forthcoming from Ahsahta Press. www.tctolbert.com
Tim Peterson (Trace) is a trans-identified poet, critic, and editor.
The author of Since I Moved In (Chax Press), and Violet Speech (2nd
Avenue Poetry), Peterson also edits EOAGH: A Journal of the Arts
(which published a special issue Queering Language dedicated to trans
poet and mentor kari edwards in 2007). Peterson’s poetry and criticism
have been published in Colorado Review, EBR, Five Fingers Review,
Harvard Review, Leonardo Electronic Almanac, The Poetry Project
Newsletter, Transgender Tapestry, and in the recent book NO GENDER:
Reflections on the Life and Work of kari edwards (Belladonna/Limus
Press). A Ph.D. student at CUNY Graduate Center, Peterson curates the
TENDENCIES: Poetics & Practice talks series dedicated to queer writing
and the manifesto. More information at http://tendenciespoetics.com
We are incredibly excited about this project and look forward to
working with you!
Thank you!
TC and Trace
Federal Bureau of Prisons Medical Policy Undergoes Change [trans news]
The Federal Bureau of Prisons has announced major changes in their transgender medical policy, according to the NCLR.
.
Anyone who is sweating a background check for a potential job will be happy to know the Social Security Administration is no longer informing employers about "incorrect" gender markers, so that's one less thing to worry about!
Transgender Victory in California, LGBT Studies Major at San Diego State
San Diego State now has an LGBT Studies Major! They are the first institution in California to approve this major as well as only the second college in the US.
- about the major
Over on the East Coast, New York is considering Medicaid to cover transgender surgeries and hormone replacement therapy.
Sunday, October 9, 2011
New Trans Clinic in Los Angeles! [healthcare]
Great news! There is a new clinic for trans/gender-noncomforming folks at the St. Nicholas Medical Clinic in Los Angeles.
WPATH - Standards of Care Revised [trans news]
The Standards of Care for trans people has been revised - via the WPATH website:The SOC is considered the standard document of reference on caring for the transsexual, transgender, and gender nonconforming population. The newly-revised SOC will help health professionals better understand how they can offer the most effective care to these individuals. The SOC focuses on primary care, gynecologic and urologic care, reproductive options, voice and communication therapy, mental health services and hormonal and surgical treatment.
MINNEAPOLIS / ST. PAUL (September 25, 2011)-The World Professional Association for Transgender Health (WPATH) will release a newly-revised edition of the Standards of Care for the Health of Transsexual, Transgender, and Gender Nonconforming People, on September 25, 2011 at the WPATH conference in Atlanta.
"The latest 2011 revisions to the SOC realize that transgender, transsexual, and gender nonconforming people have unique health care needs to promote their overall health and well-being, and that those needs extend beyond hormonal treatment and surgical intervention," said SOC Committee Chair, Eli Coleman, PhD, Professor and Director at Program in Human Sexuality, University of Minnesota.
This is the seventh version of the Standards of Care. The original SOC were published in 1979. Previous revisions occurred in 1980, 1981, 1990, 1998 and 2001.
"The previous versions of the SOC were always perceived to be about the things that a trans person must do to satisfy clinicians, this version is much more clearly about every aspect of what clinicians ought to do in order to properly serve their clients. That is a truly radical reversal . . . one that serves both parties very well," said Christine Burns, SOC International Advisory Committee Member.
More than any other version, 2011 revisions also recognize that gender nonconformity in and of itself is not a disorder and that many people live comfortable lives without having to seek therapy or medical interventions for gender confusion or unhappiness.
This version provides more detailed clinical guidelines to address the health care needs of children, adolescents, and adults with gender dysphoria who need assistance with psychological, hormonal, or surgical care.
In addition to clearly articulating the collaborative relationship needed between transsexual, transgender, and gender nonconforming individuals and health care providers, the new, 2011 revisions provide for new ways of thinking about how cultural relativity and culture competence.
The document includes a call to advocacy for professionals to promote public policies and legal reforms that promote tolerance and equity for gender and sexual diversity. This document recognizes that well-being is not obtained through quality health care alone but a social climate that eliminates of prejudice, discrimination, and stigma and promotes a positive and tolerant society that embraces sexual and gender diversity.
The World Professional Association for Transgender Health (WPATH), formerly known as the (Harry Benjamin International Gender Dysphoria Association, HBIGDA), is a professional organization devoted to the understanding and treatment of gender identity disorders. As an international multidisciplinary professional Association the mission of WPATH is to promote evidence based care, education, research, advocacy, public policy and respect in transgender health.
Saturday, September 24, 2011
On the Male Side of Middle [documentary]
Check out this awesome short documentary by Paul Neudorf, aka pneudorf on the Tube in collaboration with the Brethren Mennonite Council for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender Interests.
The film explores body image, gender identity, masculinity, femininity, relationships, and religion and spirituality. You can check out more of Paul's documentaries here.
Traveling as a Transguy.
Traveling via airplane can be a nerve-wracking experience for any transguy, but with a little preparation and confidence, all should go well.
This video talks about body scans, flying with testosterone, packing and binding, carry letters, as well as flying before any legal changes have been done.
The following video goes into more detail about TSA body scans and flying with a packer:
In the video I talked about obtaining a “carry letter” to make your travel as smooth as possible. Here is a link to a sample carry letter from FORGE.
The following video goes into more detail about TSA body scans and flying with a packer:
In the video I talked about obtaining a “carry letter” to make your travel as smooth as possible. Here is a link to a sample carry letter from FORGE.
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
The Silent Years [transition gives voice]
Recently, Forest (aka ClosetTransgender on the Tube) made a poignant video entitled "The Silent Years." Forest is transitioning without hormones and is having the experience of being somewhat of a ghost; his male identity is often invisible to those he encounters, which lead to feelings of invalidation.
I'm sure many who are early in transition or not using hormones at all can relate to this feeling at some time or another during their transition.
I can relate to where he is coming from and can only imagine how frustrating it is for him to have his male identity be constantly invalidated/challenged/gone unrecognized.
I can relate to where he is coming from and can only imagine how frustrating it is for him to have his male identity be constantly invalidated/challenged/gone unrecognized.
A main theme in my videos is the idea of "transition giving voice;" I feel this experience has empowered me and allowed me to find my voice in this world and speak from a place of great understanding (having embodied two genders in my lifetime).
Nothing is more frustrating than having this (male) identity I've crafted invalidated, so I empathize with Forest when his true self is "silenced" by others.
Wrong Bathroom [short documentary]
Check out this short documentary from YouTube user shanestar entitled "Wrong Bathroom."
From the video's description on YouTube:
short doc blending humor and formal interviews explores the under-reported problem of a lack of gender neutral restroom spaces. featuring lynn breedlove, bryan burgess and melissa lawton.
Written, Directed, Shot and Edited by Shani Heckman
Written, Directed, Shot and Edited by Shani Heckman
Saturday, July 2, 2011
Testosterone, Sex Drive, etc. [hormones, sex]
One of the most recent videos on my YouTube channel is about my sudden increase in sex drive with this past week's shot of testosterone, whereas just a couple months ago I couldn't even finish.
Guys, if you are on T and your sex drive isn't through the roof, don't worry - it is a common belief among doctors that males hit their sexual peak at 18, so you will just be "one of the guys" when it comes to diminished interest in sex, since most of us transition after the age of 18.
Anti-depressants are also commonly known to decrease libido (which is part of my problem), so if you are on an anti-d and having trouble getting aroused or orgasming, then you could possibly talk to your doctor about changing your dosage or other treatment options to decrease some of that frustration that T so aggressively causes!
Here are some foods to increase libido.
My libido has definitely decreased from jackrabbit to a steady drive over the course of five and a half years on testosterone (before T I had no interest in sex, no drive at all), but with this past shot, I felt like I was going through puberty all over again!
Guys, if you are on T and your sex drive isn't through the roof, don't worry - it is a common belief among doctors that males hit their sexual peak at 18, so you will just be "one of the guys" when it comes to diminished interest in sex, since most of us transition after the age of 18.
Anti-depressants are also commonly known to decrease libido (which is part of my problem), so if you are on an anti-d and having trouble getting aroused or orgasming, then you could possibly talk to your doctor about changing your dosage or other treatment options to decrease some of that frustration that T so aggressively causes!
Here are some foods to increase libido.
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
Testosterone! [changes]
I'm recently back on testosterone after nearly a month off, and one of my latest videos is on the overwhelming amount of hunger I've had since my last shot.
Here is another video on "being late" with T:
One of the things I looked forward to most when starting T (besides dick growth!) was the voice change. Here is a five year (2005-2010) voice comparison:
Changes Four Years on Testosterone:
Here is another video on "being late" with T:
One of the things I looked forward to most when starting T (besides dick growth!) was the voice change. Here is a five year (2005-2010) voice comparison:
Facial & Body Hair: 5 Years on Testosterone:
Bearded Me (Facial Hair Growth):
Changes Four Years on Testosterone:
Changes Two and a Half Years on Testosterone:
No Timeline for Testosterone:
Thursday, June 9, 2011
Transgender People Included in White House's Champions of Change! [news]
Counseling for FTMs, Gender Variant, & Queer Folk [resources]
Therapy is one of the steps we must take in order to transition, but even after medical transition is over transgender people still deal with plenty of other issues, some trans-related, some not. It can be nice to talk to someone and get an outside perspective and some guidance - especially someone of trans experience.Trey Polesky is a licensed therapist and a man of trans experience himself. He is located in Bloomington, Illinois but also offers online therapy sessions via Skype. Over half of his clients identify as LGBTQI, and he can not only assist in helping you start medical transition by providing hormone and surgery letters, he also specializes in the following:
LGBTQI issues
Trans issues (letters for HRT, surgery, etc)
Depression
Anxiety
Grief and loss
Substance abuse/dependence
Relationship or family difficulties
Anger management
Increasing self esteem and confidence
Abuse or trauma
Compulsive behaviors
Work/school challenges
Significant life changes
Trey can be reached via his personal website, by e-mail: treypolesky(at)gmail(dot)com, or you can give him a call at 773-819-5428.
Transgender Documentary: Enough Man [film]
Enough Man is a documentary by filmmaker Luke Woodward which explores sex, sexuality, body image, and relationships from the perspective of nine FTM transmen. It has been both criticized and praised for its implicit depictions of sex and has often been referred to as the intersection of documentary and pornography. It screened at Frameline International LGBT Film Festival in San Francisco in 2005.
Luke's second film, Tour De Pants, screened at Frameline 33.
The Frameline Film Festival is the largest and longest-running LGBT film event in the world. Frameline 35 will be held June 16-26th this year; many programs are selling out already, so be sure to purchase tickets soon!Follow Frameline on Twitter
Subscribe to Frameline on YouTube
Become a fan on Facebook
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
Portland Wins Trans-Inclusive Healthcare! [trans news]
Good news, Portlanders! Most of you were probably aware of Mayor Sam Adams' push to get the city of Portland to end discriminatory practices and include trans-related healthcare in its benefits, including surgeries (!), hormones, and other treatments for transgender people. Well, it just PASSED, making Portland the third city in the country to offer "sex change" benefits to transgender people.
via Basic Rights Oregon:
WE DID IT! After nearly two years of working with city leaders, we are proud to announce that today the Portland City Counil unanimously voted to end insurance exclusions against transgender City employees.
This is huge. Portland is now the third municipality in the country to provide trans-inclusive care to their employees, and Oregon is a clear leader in the national efforts to end insurance discrimination against transgender communities.
This victory belongs to Basic Rights Oregon's Trans Justice Working Group-trans and allied community leaders who have worked tirelessly for nearly two years on our campaign to end health care discrimination against transgender Oregonians. It also belongs to the Portland City Council, especially Mayor Sam Adams whose leadership for the LGBT community shone through today.
Why is this care so important? Basic Rights' Executive Director Jeana Frazzini explained it in her testimony today:
The American Medical Association has identified transgender health care as being medically ncessary. Yet many transgender Oregonians are routinely denied the ability to purchase health insurance or are denied coverage for basic, medically-necessary care solely becaust they are transgender. Without health insurance, many transgender people have no access to health care and have nowhere to turn if they develop health problems. This discrimination is all too common and can lead to serious-even life-threatening-conditions.
We are thankful to the dozens of you who turned out to help make history, and countless more helped make this a reality. This victory shows just what can happen when each of us takes a stand, large or small for trans justice.
Thanks for all of your extraordinary work. We'll be working with the City to ensure smooth implementation and continue onward to the next victory!
PS-If you're in or near Portland, be sure to join us to celebrate tonight at Crush (1412 SE Morrison) from 5:30-7:30pm!
Sunday, June 5, 2011
Don't Be Shy [transition gives voice]
I created the original "Don't Be Shy" video back in May 2007 because I really felt that the lyrics described what transition had done for me; it allowed me to come out of my shell and gave me a voice. It allowed me a physical presence in this world and a path in which to navigate it, and I finally could genuinely participate in a world I had previously viewed from only the outside.
The song still means a lot to me and much has gone on in my life since the original video was made, so "Don't Be Shy II" is meant to be an update of sorts. I also feel it reflects a new level I have reached in my transition; through medical transition I found my voice, now I am at the point of refining that voice.
In the past four years since the original video was made, my transition has moved beyond just defining my physical place in the world as a male, but evolved on a spiritual and intellectual level; the second video hopes to reflect that.
The song still means a lot to me and much has gone on in my life since the original video was made, so "Don't Be Shy II" is meant to be an update of sorts. I also feel it reflects a new level I have reached in my transition; through medical transition I found my voice, now I am at the point of refining that voice.
Thursday, June 2, 2011
What is Chest Surgery Like?
Yesterday I posted this video to my YouTube channel which intends to be a quick overview of what to expect when you have chest surgery; it also hopes to answer questions and calm some nerves!
Here is a follow-up video I shot this afternoon with some tips for guys preparing for surgery.
This is a video log I shot the morning of my chest surgery in the hotel in Baltimore.
This is me seeing my chest for the first time on December 19, 2006, a week after my surgery.
Here is a video shot the same night I saw my chest for the first time and documents a simple, but significant milestone in any transman's transition - being able to wear a t-shirt for the first time with a flat chest.
As with all my videos and blog posts, the opinions reflected herein are solely my own and I do not claim to speak for anyone but myself.
Here is a follow-up video I shot this afternoon with some tips for guys preparing for surgery.
This is a video log I shot the morning of my chest surgery in the hotel in Baltimore.
This is me seeing my chest for the first time on December 19, 2006, a week after my surgery.
Here is a video shot the same night I saw my chest for the first time and documents a simple, but significant milestone in any transman's transition - being able to wear a t-shirt for the first time with a flat chest.
Click here to watch a short documentary I did while in college called, "I Got a Sex Change with My Best Friend!"
I had my surgery with Dr. Beverly Fischer in Timonium (Baltimore), Maryland on December 12, 2006.
I had my surgery with Dr. Beverly Fischer in Timonium (Baltimore), Maryland on December 12, 2006.
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
At This Point in My Transition [video, lower surgery]
I posted a video this afternoon about a penis/sexual/psychological problem I've been having lately - it's a little hard to talk about, so I will just let the video do the speaking.
I also have come to a point in my transition where I am seriously starting to consider lower surgery and am starting the whole process of researching/consultation/figuring out funding.
It also feels really great to be back on T; I had to give myself an injection a couple weeks ago because my girlfriend (who is a nurse) was already at work. I am not the biggest fan of needles (that's why I started on T cream), but I like to still self-inject every once in awhile just so I don't get rusty at it and am able to give myself injections if need be.
I also have come to a point in my transition where I am seriously starting to consider lower surgery and am starting the whole process of researching/consultation/figuring out funding.
It also feels really great to be back on T; I had to give myself an injection a couple weeks ago because my girlfriend (who is a nurse) was already at work. I am not the biggest fan of needles (that's why I started on T cream), but I like to still self-inject every once in awhile just so I don't get rusty at it and am able to give myself injections if need be.
Sunday, March 20, 2011
Strength in Transformation [video].
This is the latest video I have posted to my YouTube channel, called “Strength in Transformation.” I think this is one of the videos on my channel I am most proud of; the footage was acquired over several years’ time in various parts of the country and took me several all-nighters to complete.
During this whole tumultious and overwhelming transition process, more than just my gender has transformed. I am becoming more whole as a person; transitioning was just a part of the journey. In a way, it was the key that opened the door to the world so I could actually start my journey in life.
I used to struggle with finding balance between my trans self and just my plain old male/person/self, but this hardly comes up anymore in my day to day life. I still struggle with balance, but I find it is more "life-related," rather than gender-related. I worry about the stuff every one else does - my relationships, finances, work; it's quite a relief to not have to think so actively about my gender.
I'm so glad my active transition is over; I was very fortunate to get it done quickly and when I was relatively young. I am 26 and have been on testosterone for nearly six years now; it doesn't feel like that. In fact, it doesn't feel like anything. It feels like this is how I always have been. I can hardly distinguish my trans self from just myself now, and I think that is what I have been striving for since I started transitioning.
Strength in Transformation [video].
This is the latest video I have posted to my YouTube channel, called “Strength in Transformation.” I think this is one of the videos on my channel I am most proud of; the footage was acquired over several years’ time in various parts of the country and took me several all-nighters to complete. During this whole tumultious and overwhelming transition process, more than just my gender has transformed. I am becoming more whole as a person; transitioning was just a part of the journey. In a way, it was the key that opened the door to the world so I could actually start my journey in life.
I used to struggle with finding balance between my trans self and just my plain old male/person/self, but this hardly comes up anymore in my day to day life. I still struggle with balance, but I find it is more "life-related," rather than gender-related. I worry about the stuff every one else does - my relationships, finances, work; it's quite a relief to not have to think so actively about my gender.
I'm so glad my active transition is over; I was very fortunate to get it done quickly and when I was relatively young. I am 26 and have been on testosterone for nearly six years now; it doesn't feel like that. In fact, it doesn't feel like anything. It feels like this is how I always have been. I can hardly distinguish my trans self from just myself now, and I think that is what I have been striving for since I started transitioning.
Friday, March 11, 2011
Lola Jake Packer Review [video, products]
Saturday, February 26, 2011
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Transgender Lives with Lisa Ling on OWN [TV]
Friday, February 18, 2011
Testosterone Delivery Methods.
1. Injections
2. Transdermal
3. Sublingual
4. Surgical Implants [T pellets]
Links to some of the resources and compounding pharmacies I talked about in the video:
Thursday, February 10, 2011
Transgender Despair & Joy [videos]
Being transgender can be really tough at times, but with despair, there is always eventually joy. The challenges can be difficult to overcome, feel impossibly overwhelming at times, but the transgender experience is one of the most radical transformative experiences any human can go through, so in many ways it is a unique gift as well.
Monday, January 24, 2011
Trans Canadian Military Dress Codes, Transgender Insurance Coverage, etc. [trans news]
From the National Post:
As U.S. politicians continue to debate whether to let gays serve openly in the American military, the Canadian Forces have issued a new policy detailing how the organization should accommodate transsexual and transvestite troops specifically. Soldiers, sailors and air force personnel who change their sex or sexual identity have a right to privacy and respect around that decision, but must conform to the dress code of their “target” gender, says the supplementary chapter of a military administration manual.
In other transgender news, according to Joanne Herman, more employers are going to start covering transgender surgeries, but new hurdles are to be expected.
Also, Brian Katcher, a 35-year-old Missouri dad, has won the second Stonewall children's book award for his tale of transgender love.
Transgender Woman Killed in Minneapolis [trans news]
This saddens me to even have to write this, but a fellow transsister, Krissy Bates, was found dead in her Minneapolis apartment on January 11th around 3pm; she had been murdered. A 40-year-old male suspect has been arrested for her murder.
She was the first murder victim of this year in Minneapolis, and to my knowledge, the first transperson to be murdered this year in the US. She will be honored on Transgender Day of Remembrance in November.
The US isn't the only place transpeople, especially transwomen, are victimized. Killings of women, especially transgender women, has been on the rise in Honduras, according to vivirlatino.com.
In the last four weeks the bodies of five transgender women in Honduras have been found. The murder of women, especially transgender women, has been on the rise following the June 28, 2009 coup. According to the International Gay & Lesbian Human Rights Commission, prior to the most recent murders, there have been 31 deaths of LGBTI people in Honduras in the last year and a half.
Violence against transpeople has to stop - there is a need for awareness and education; that is why I remain visible and do what I do.
She was the first murder victim of this year in Minneapolis, and to my knowledge, the first transperson to be murdered this year in the US. She will be honored on Transgender Day of Remembrance in November.
The US isn't the only place transpeople, especially transwomen, are victimized. Killings of women, especially transgender women, has been on the rise in Honduras, according to vivirlatino.com.
In the last four weeks the bodies of five transgender women in Honduras have been found. The murder of women, especially transgender women, has been on the rise following the June 28, 2009 coup. According to the International Gay & Lesbian Human Rights Commission, prior to the most recent murders, there have been 31 deaths of LGBTI people in Honduras in the last year and a half.
Violence against transpeople has to stop - there is a need for awareness and education; that is why I remain visible and do what I do.
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
Facial Hair Growth [five years on testosterone]
Someone recently commented on my New Year's video complimenting my facial hair growth. I just noticed yesterday it was getting quite thick myself, so I thought I'd document it before I shave it all off!
Even being over five years on testosterone, I can only grow decent sideburns, and I don't get nearly as much hair on my cheeks as I do on my chin and neck. I can grow a decent chinstrap and an even better goatee and neck beard. I still have some patchy spots on my chin where I don't think it will ever fill in.
Facial hair doesn't always grow in evenly, and some guys don't get it at all. Here is a video I did on patchy facial hair growth followed by a video on dysphoria caused by lack of facial hair.
I tried to participate in "No Shave November" this past year, and document my troubles "holding out" in this video:
I'll leave you all with a classic shaving video - it's shaving time!.
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